We’d Love to Invite Everyone... But We Can’t (Here’s How to Say That)

We’d Love to Invite Everyone... But We Can’t (Here’s How to Say That)
How to politely say no plus ones, no extra invites, and keep your guest list stress-free

When it comes to planning your wedding, one of the trickiest conversations you’ll have is saying no to extra guests. Whether it’s a distant cousin asking if they can bring their new flame, or your parents trying to add a few more friends to the list, it’s never easy. But here’s the thing: it’s your day, your budget, and your guest list. And it’s completely okay to set boundaries around who is (and isn’t) invited.

If you’re searching for how to say no to plus ones, how to politely say someone isn't invited, or how to stop parents inviting extras you’re in the right place. This guide will help you navigate those awkward convos with confidence and kindness.

Why Setting Boundaries Matters

You’ve likely spent hours curating your wedding guest list based on your venue, budget, and the people you truly want by your side. Allowing extra guests, especially unexpected plus ones, can quickly lead to stress, overspending, and feeling overwhelmed on a day that’s meant to be joyful.

Saying “no” might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s a necessary part of protecting your vision and peace of mind.

General Tips Before You Say No

• Be clear and upfront. Ambiguity creates room for assumptions.
• Stick to your guns. Once you make an exception, others may expect the same.
• Blame logistics, not emotions. Make it about the venue or budget, not the person.
• Use “we” instead of “I.” Saying “we’ve decided” helps deflect the focus off you personally.

12 Polite Ways to Say “You’re Not Invited” or “No Extra Guests”

Here are some polite yet firm wording examples to use when those awkward questions start popping up:

 If someone asks to bring a date:

• “We’re keeping our guest list really tight due to venue capacity, so unfortunately we can’t accommodate plus ones.”
• “Our wedding is strictly invite-only and we’re unable to include additional guests, I hope you understand.”
• “As much as we’d love to have everyone’s partners join, we’ve had to make the tough call to keep numbers limited.”
• “We totally understand wanting to come with a plus one, but unfortunately our numbers are locked in.”
• “We hope you can still come solo and have a fabulous time, we’ll make sure you’re seated with some friendly faces!”

If someone who wasn’t invited tries to angle an invite:

• “We had to make some really hard decisions with our guest list, and sadly we weren’t able to invite everyone we would have liked to.”
• “Our venue has a limited capacity, and we’ve already reached our numbers. I hope you can understand.”
• “We’ve kept our wedding very small and intimate, and unfortunately we couldn’t extend invitations as widely as we’d love to.”
• “Please don’t take it personally, we truly had to be strict with our guest list and stick to immediate friends and family.”

If your parents are trying to invite extra people:

• “We’ve set a firm guest list and can’t stretch the numbers any further,we’d love your support in sticking to it.”
• “We know you want to include more family friends, but we’ve budgeted carefully and can’t add to our current list.”
• “We want our wedding to reflect us as a couple, and we’d love for it to stay intimate, we hope you understand this is important to us.”

Talking to Parents About Guest List Limits

Parents often mean well, they’re proud and excited but if they’re pushing to add extra people, it can create real pressure. Here’s how to handle it:

• Bring it back to the budget: “Each extra guest adds to our cost, and we’ve set a strict budget that we’re sticking to.”
• Mention the venue limits: “Our venue only holds 80 guests, so we just don’t have the space.”
• Acknowledge their intentions: “I know you want to include your friends, and I appreciate that, but we’ve made a decision together and would really value your support.”

You can also offer a compromise - for example, inviting extra family friends to an engagement party or post-wedding celebration.

Remember: Your Wedding, Your Way

It might feel hard, but setting these boundaries will help you stay sane and stick to your dream day. Most guests will understand and those who don’t? Well, they’re probably not the guests you want at your wedding anyway.

If you’re feeling guilty, remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritise your needs on this one special day. And if you need a script to fall back on, keep this blog handy  and rehearse your lines in the mirror if you have to!

Final Thoughts

Your guest list is not a public RSVP. You’re allowed to have limits. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to protect the space you’ve dreamed of creating. And trust us, the people who matter will respect that.

Helpful? If this blog helped you find the right words, feel free to share it with a friend who's also planning their wedding or save it for when the next awkward invite request pops up!

💍 Need more help with guest list woes or wedding wording? [Book a consultation with us] we’re here to take the stress off your shoulders.

Your wedding planning bestie,
Lala & Kellie